Lean Into Impostor Syndrome and Keep Doing The Thing
As we level up, we should wonder if we belong.
I began writing to stimulate my curiosity. I wanted a challenge outside of work. I desired to continue to learn and to build something bigger than me. I had few goals for my writing, but the main thing I wanted was consistency.
MrBeast, the man with the most subscribers on YouTube, tells the story of those who come to him looking for advice about video creation and YouTube. First, he tells them not to expect any viewers in their first year. If you can be comfortable with that, make 100 videos. It doesn’t matter how bad the videos are, make 100 videos and do something you enjoy. The first 10 will be terrible. There will be growing pains, but improvement will come. The more videos you make, the more you discover what people like. Those who do make 100 videos never come back to him. They figure it out themselves. They see a noticeable difference between the 1st and the 101st video.
I heard the story and told myself I have one goal when I start writing: 100 posts, and I will reevaluate. I don’t need extreme results. I need 100 pieces of writing. I don’t need the tips, tricks, and hacks to improve. I need to write 100 posts.
This is post 100.
I’ve been trying to do things that challenge me and expand my comfort zone. This is one of them.
I reflected on what I have learned during this process. How have I grown?
It has made me more comfortable with impostor syndrome.
Impostor syndrome signals you are doing something right. I forced myself to lean into it. I seek out comfortable discomfort. An oxymoron, yes, but a sound mindset regardless. I don’t want to be in excruciating pain or have crippling anxiety, but I want to do things where I have a shadow of a doubt and again, have to prove to myself that yes, I can do this. I have written 100 times, traveled alone to San Diego and Denver this year, pushed myself to get involved with things where I don’t know a single soul – cough, cough join a new CrossFit gym, started a new fitness pursuit, and even small things like talked to more strangers.
As we level up, we should wonder if we belong. It is a sign of growth.
With each post, I convinced myself that people cared. I reached a point where I realized no one was watching, and some discomfort was good. It was selfish for me to consider that people were obsessing over my writing, critiquing it, and concerned about what I do. No one cared that much.
I began not knowing if I would get to 100 pieces. The more I write and exercise my writing muscle, the stronger I become. I reached a point where I knew I would get to 100. Then I knew I would go beyond 100. Then I felt as if how would I ever stop this? I slowly shed destructive mindsets. I stopped beating myself up if I didn’t get my desired open rate or enough likes. I began to find joy in the process and pushed myself to be a better storyteller through more stories and less platitudes.
No test, certification, or examination tells you you’re cut out for it. It is the beauty of it. Anyone can start writing, and it still feels weird when people ask me what I write about. The one thing that lets you know that you must improve and keep moving is impostor syndrome. It is ironic that on the week of my 100th post, I reached 1,000 subscribers. I have done few things, but I have been consistent. Impostor syndrome continues to knock on my door, encouraging me to improve and find ways to get better because who is to say I belong?
The impostor syndrome will never go away. I hope I never reach a point where I look back on my younger self and think, “l have figured it out!” It would mean I stopped growing, and that means I stopped living. The highest form of self-confidence is believing in your ability to learn and grow. We are always working towards our best selves.
A strong work ethic married to commitment gives you the proof to minimize impostor syndrome. It is all I need. Nothing interferes. Once the decision is made, refuse to budge. Understanding quality long-term results requires a long-term focus. No games. No beating yourself up over small hiccups. Lean into impostor syndrome and enjoy the process.
My challenge to myself, and maybe to you too, is to keep doing the thing. Keep writing, keep reading, keep running, keep lifting, and keep doing hard, uncomfortable things. Continue writing when it’s clear you need to work on your storytelling skills. Go out in public without headphones and talk to strangers or contemplate life. Filter out the cheap dopamine that is so easy to fall victim to, and hang out with friends or ask someone you respect to grab lunch. Join that run club or CrossFit gym where you don’t know a single soul but yearn for human and health connection. Do all this to be a little uncomfortable, but most importantly, do this to grow and lean into that impostor syndrome. Never stop growing, never stop living.
Appreciate you for joining me.
-Scantron