The Value of Knowing what you don't Like
What are you really sick of? There's value to that.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Where do you see yourself going in your career?
What is your dream job?
The brain shutters. The mind blanks. Simply put, very few actually know. These are not questions reserved for young people, either. To most, it is like a 1-2-3 punch combination that is the deadly sequence to the KO. Questions that leave people contemplating and the mind unable to reach a decision.
You see, it is quite a loaded question and the answer to that question changes all the time. We have dreams of the future but trying to predict the future, now that is a whole other task. We may never know what exactly we want to be, where exactly we want to land in our career, or when exactly we want to land our dream job and that’s okay.
You may never know what or who you want to be in your career at first. However, there’s value in knowing what you don’t want to do or what you don’t want to be. I think that’s just as powerful.
Too Many College Majors
When I decided where I wanted to go to college, I told them I wanted to be a mathematical economics major. Before I even stepped foot on campus, I switched to biology. Before I even took a college class, I switched to economics. This wasn’t even the last step either, I finished as a finance and business management major. When the idea finally met the reality of being a biology major, I quickly thought this may not be for me. The class schedule wasn’t as appealing as I thought. I got my first taste and it wasn’t as sweet as I thought it might be.
I decided to keep chemistry and chemistry lab on my schedule despite being an economics major, despite not even needing it as a prereq. This provided at least a glimpse into life as a biology major and would help me decide if I wanted to go to med school. I stayed in the class and lab for the whole semester and got good grades, I was cut out for it but I truly didn’t like it. It wasn’t for me.
I may have not known what I wanted to major in but at least I had a pretty strong idea of what I didn’t like and the paths I did not want to pursue. There is utility to that. We don’t always have to view everything through the lens of what we like.
I wasn’t alone in this. There are so many people who find what they want to major in by knowing what they don’t like. Mundane, silly experiences like taking a class you don’t even need can do this.
Often, it is hard to name your favorite thing but knowing something you may hate or deeply despise is quite easy. It is much easier to answer a question of food you despise the most versus food you love the most. The former has fewer ramifications and the later is a loaded question with a lot on the line. There is just as much value in knowing what you don’t like.
What are you Really Sick of?
Jerry Seinfeld puts it quite well on the value of knowing what you don’t like when talking about how Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee originated,
“It’s very important to know what you don’t like. A big part of innovation is saying, “You know what I’m really sick of? For me, that was talk shows where music plays, somebody walks out to a desk, shakes hands with the host, and sits down. “How are you?” “You look great.” I’m also sick of people who are really there to sell their show or product. “What am I really sick of?” is where innovation begins.”
This is what moves the world and our lives forward. Innovation is rooted in change and change is usually rooted in not liking something. Just think about New Year's resolutions; they are all rooted in wanting to bring about change in life. Change from something we ultimately don’t like. We don’t like the way we look, let’s workout more. We don’t like the amount of money in our bank account, let’s save more.
Humans don’t like discomfort and life is becoming optimized to avoid it at all costs, for better or worse. At the root of discomfort, lies things we don’t enjoy and things we don’t like. Things we wish to get rid of.
Jerry Seinfeld birthed Comedian in Cars from knowing things he didn’t like. He may have not known what he loved or where he truly wanted the show to go but he had a framework of things he didn’t like. That helped him to ultimately build out the show. It provides a basis for him to work from. It helps spur action and eventually get you where you want to be.
Every day, we encounter things we love and things we loathe. The things we love provide happiness and the things that we loathe fuel our desire to make our world and our lives different. We see it all the time, especially in companies.
Warby Parker was born out of a refusal to pay for pricey new lenses. One of the four founders held his frames together through two paper clips. He refused to pay high prices for new glasses. He, and the other founders, wanted something different. They knew what they didn’t like.
It was a tall task trying to slay the 800-pound dragon of the eyewear industry, Luxottica. Luxottica essentially operates a monopoly, vertically integrated across the eyewear industry. Warby Parker was founded in 2010 and fast forward to today, they just reported net revenue of $166.1 million, 11% year over year. Safe to say they are at least taming the beast. All because they knew something they didn’t like.
All because they didn’t like the lack of affordable options in the eyewear industry. The eyewear industry was changed forever.
Parting Words
We have become too consumed by trying to optimize and figure out where we are meant to be. Where we are supposed to land. There is no magic potion that tells you. There’s no magic ritual that summons you, at least I haven’t discovered it. Life is tough. The meaning of life is not easy, either.
Each day provides a new day to inch towards finding where you are meant to be and what you are meant to do. Your life’s work as some may call it or your dream job as some may say. Being asked what you want to be is a loaded question. The best way to face these questions is through knowing what you don’t like. It provides a basis from which to work and helps spur action. So when someone asks what you want to be, you can always answer, I may not know what I want to be, but I know what I don’t want to be and there’s value to that.
What you’re really sick of is where change and innovation start. What you’re really sick of gets you one step closer to your life’s work.
Thanks for reading.
Scantron’s Selections - A few things I loved this week.
Anna Quindlen - Commencement Speech at Villanova in 2000 - “And realize that life is the best thing ever, and that you have no business taking it for granted.”
David Goggins - How to Master Your Life - Modern Wisdom - I broke down and listened to David Goggins after hearing a lot about this episode. It didn’t disappoint. The mental fortitude of this man is insane and that may be putting it lightly.
Anna Quindlen - 1999 Commencement Speech at Mount Holyoke - “But nothing important, or meaningful, or beautiful, or interesting, or great ever came out of imitations. The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”