What Could Have Been

We are remembered for what we do, not our potential or what we could have been.

In high school, I made the varsity cross country team as a freshman. My high school was coming off a 3rd place state championship performance behind the usual powerhouses who fared well on the national level. 

After our exhibition before my freshman season, I was told I could be a state champion, run a sub-15 5k, and go to any college I wanted on an athletic scholarship by the time my high school running career ended.

To put it lightly, a young kid like me was giddy upon hearing that. I was on top of the world and I had big dreams.

I dreamed of running for the University of Florida. I wanted to go compete at the University of Florida Relays in high school, a premier high school competition. My Dad and I made a deal if I ran a sub 1:50 half-mile we could go.

I liked to think I had a pretty strong work ethic in high school. I went to all the practices, lifted in the morning before school, and sometimes, even practiced before school all while balancing a rigorous college course load. I was hellbent on making it happen.

Despite all of this, it never happened. 

And neither did any of those things I was told. I was never a state champion. I never ran a sub-15 5k. I never went to a Division One college on an athletic scholarship and to be quite honest, I never even got close. I didn’t make it happen and there was no one else to blame but me.

To some, I may never have realized my potential. The word failure might be an apt description. 

Except no one ever remembers your potential. You aren’t remembered for what you could have been, you are remembered for who you are and what you put forth.

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I will never be remembered for my athletic achievements in high school, although some may remember what I did, I will be remembered for my academic accomplishments. Academically is where the dreams actually met reality and it isn’t a path littered with what could have been. 

It was never the kid who didn’t run the sub-15 5k like he was supposed to, it was the kid who lifted more than any runner should, never missed a single practice, and graduated at the top of his class.

We are not respected for our potential but for our actions. Forget your intentions, it is about the outcome that is delivered. Despite this, we humans love to look at our past with nostalgia and reminisce on the potential we had and what we intended to do.

There is a reason why we cherish our childhood. Our athletic career oozes with potential, it is limitless. It is why when you meet people in college everyone talks about what they could have been. If one more domino fell their way just how successful they might have been. The league could be calling their name. They had the potential but somehow it wasn’t meant to be.

I was never remembered for my athletic career and that’s okay, despite me not wanting it to be that way. My dreams never shook hands with my reality. The deal never did get done but I will never be remembered for that.

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There is also one key thing I am missing. The deal didn’t get done because running no longer became my number one priority by my senior year. It was everything to me during my freshman and sophomore years. I competed in cross country all four years but I decided not to do track & field my senior year. By senior year, I became deeply enthralled with lifting while remaining very passionate about my academic studies.

I even bought myself a shot put ball thinking that could be the fix. I competed in one meet since I believed it may be what I was looking for, a way to put my lifting to the test.

Other things began to take priority by senior year and I wanted to enjoy my last semester of high school. My curiosity and energy were pulling me elsewhere. Not to miss another key fact, I also had a girlfriend at the time and I am sure that wasn’t the best influence in competing in track for my last hoorah. 

My interests were changing. Despite my interests changing, all hope wasn’t lost. As my interests were changing, what I found interesting I would later realize was my future self providing glimpses of what would realize my true potential. 

It was hard to be someone who wanted to lift, run, do well in school, have a social life, and everything else under the sun. We are allowed to be anything in life but we can’t be everything. I was beginning to realize that.

Never do you meet someone who ran cross country and liked to lift as much as me, those two just don’t go together. It was like a volleyball player trying to be a gymnast, a square peg into a round hole. My love of learning and lifting was stronger than my love for running. The current that learning and academics provided was going to move me much farther along in the waters of life. 

We aren’t remembered for our potential because we are judged by what we do and what we produce. I am led to believe, for most of us, that the places in which we do not realize our potential, like my running career, are because our energy and curiosity are best directed elsewhere. Life tries to provide subtle hints on where that may be.

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Vera Wang experienced those subtle hints. She started her career as a figure skater. She competed at a high level at a young age and had aspirations of the Olympics but ultimately, never qualified. However, she is not remembered for her failed attempt to be a member of the US Olympic team. Instead, she is remembered for her successful career as a fashion designer, most notably in wedding dress designs. 

Victoria Beckham in Vera Wang’s wedding dress. Image courtesy of Vogue.

Her career in the fashion industry started when she failed to make the US Olympic team. She has now designed wedding dress gowns worn by Ariana Grande, Victoria Beckham, and Khloe Kardashian, just to name a few.

Not to mention, she has also created and designed costumes worn by figure skaters at the Olympic Games. In 2009, she was inducted into the US Figure Skating Hall of Fame not for her contributions as a skater but for her contributions as a designer.

Initially, it seemed she was destined to be defined by her figure skating pursuit and the potential of what she could have been. However, it was a case of being in the right area but not in the right place.

Her energy and curiosity drove her to discover her love for figure skating but what she was really meant to do in that area was design outfits, not skate on the ice. The sport and the fashion industry are both figures of expression but Vera was better suited for fashion than she was for skating.

She will never be remembered for what she could have been on the ice rather she will be remembered for what she produced in the fashion industry. What she found interesting in figure skating was her future self providing glimpses of what would realize her potential. It is about harnessing the energy and curiosity and using it as directives just like Vera did.

This is everywhere. So many times in sports do you see former players be much better coaches than they ever were players. Phil Jackson, Pat Summit, Bill Belichick, and Mike Krzyzewski are all people who played their sport at a competitive level but ultimately, found much more success later on coaching the sport.

No one cares about their playing career. They are remembered for their coaching career. 

Phil Jackson as a player. Few would recognize him. Image Courtesy of WSJ.

We like to think it is always what could have been but that doesn’t matter to the world. It is about what we produce. The potential we realize. What we actually put forth. We don’t remember Vera Wang for her potential as a skater just like we don’t remember Phil Jackson for his time as a player.

I failed as a runner. I failed to meet all the goals I set forth but none of that ultimately matters because I would realize my potential in other areas of my life that would take me much farther. Running was just a precursor. 

Don’t get caught in life reminiscing on what you could have been. Don’t be stopped by it either. Everyone can be great at something, it is just a matter of realizing where your highest potential may lie because we are remembered for what we do not what we could be.

Thanks for reading.

-Scantron

Scantron’s Selections - A few things I loved this week.

• Steve Bartlett -17 Raw Lessons About Human Nature - Modern Wisdom - A fusion of my two favorite podcast hosts in the game. Maybe one of my favorite podcasts of the year.

• Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds - David Goggins - I have really enjoyed this book and I am about done. It is insane what David Goggins has been able to do by convincing his mind he can do it. The body achieves what the mind believes.