Trying To Make Happiness The Default Emotion
On defeating humanity's negativity basis
I wake up in the morning on my queen sized bed, which I just purchased from Costco. It’s nothing fancy, just a Casper cooling mattress that shipped in a box. It’s Monday, fresh off a weekend spending time with my people doing things I love.
I head to the shower and run my jumbled hair under water. It’s quite a blessing to be an American with 99% of housing units having indoor plumbing. I dry my hair, still fighting my grogginess, as I stumble into the kitchen. The sunlight creeps in from the window, offering a wake up call of its own. I throw open my cabinets to look for breakfast. I purchase my groceries from Kroger, an underrated luxury–all the food we could want at our fingertips without having to lift a finger. I settle on cinnamon oatmeal topped with berries and infused with peanut butter and honey. I pair it with a fresh banana. It can’t be beat.
I scurry to throw together lunch while savoring my oatmeal. I waste time oscillating between my work clothing options, which can make me late. Once I land on my fit, I stuff my gym bag with clothes and shoes. My gym bag is fancied by my HYROX finisher badges reminding me of the gratitude I should have for my health. I head out, scramble down the stairs, and hop in my car – my trusty 2013 Subaru Impreza that burns oil like it’s a part-time job. Don’t worry, it’s a known Impreza thing. Its oil burning tendencies have ratcheted up my stress as of late, but this morning it’s purring.
It’s become a commonality in America, with 91.7% of households having access to a vehicle. Here I am one of them. I am thankful. Part of me still can’t believe I have a car. I was carless in high school and most of college. My heart burned so much for a car that I wrote my parents a research paper outlining why a car would be a reasonable investment my senior year of high school. My case proved unpersuasive, but today, I have one of my own.
My commute to work takes six minutes. Six freaking minutes, unbeatable. Some days, the only time my car comes to a full stop is waiting to get into my garage. I arrive at work greeted by coworkers. I appreciate my office saturated in sunlight, thanks to floor to ceiling windows and no cubicles. I spend my day doing finance things, collaborating with others, and always grab some of the free, fresh fruit offered. Time flies. I head out for the day.
I head to CrossFit ready for fun. My commute can balloon to over 25 minutes, but I sit in air conditioning, listen to whatever I am feeling, and life demands little of me as I navigate my way to the gym. I arrive at CrossFit, sometimes frustrated by traffic, but all the anger and frustration evaporates when I enter the gym. No one cares about how you sit in traffic. It’s over. No reason to dwell on it.
I spend time at the gym conversing with friends while breaking a sweat, and my body thanks me. I hop in my car, the car I always dreamed of, and head home. I have a scenic ride home. My commute ends snaking through a park overlooking the city. The sun descends in the sky slowly rocking the city to sleep, and I have a front row ticket. The best thing about a sunset? They are beautiful and free for anyone.
I arrive home, park on the street, and head in. I cook myself a fulfilling meal and end the night with the latest granola I can’t quit. I didn’t even have to make the granola myself, just buy it. A blessing of the world’s supply chains. I wind down at night. Sometimes writing, maybe reading, even stretching, and I scroll on my phone more than I should. I hop in the shower, brush my teeth, and cozy up for bed. I descend down a rabbit hole about how to sear the perfect steak thanks to my access to high-speed internet, something 97% of Americans are afforded. I realize an article about steak is keeping me awake, and it's my signal to go to sleep. Here I am back on my queen sized mattress as my busy day puts me right to sleep to do it all again tomorrow.
My life isn’t lavish. I don’t drive the nice car. I don’t live in the penthouse. I don’t eat exquisite meals. I work the 9-5. I have the normal life stressors. I could yearn for the days of million dollar homes. I could be irate about my car leaking oil, but every day has lots to be happy about, even if I don’t have an explicit reason. I am existing with a life my ancestors would have dreamed of, and sometimes that’s enough. As Alex Hormozi says,
“The single greatest skill you can develop is the ability to stay in a good mood in the absence of things to be in a good mood about.”
Sure, sure it’s good in theory. One of those things that sounds fantastic on the surface but is impossible to do. Everyone would love to be in a great mood for no reason. Humans have a negativity basis too. But as Chris Williamson might add,
“The other neurobiologically informed solution to this is to find increasingly small things to be increasingly happy about.”
Yes, it is annoying that my car bleeds oil, but I own a car. Younger me would be ecstatic. Trust me, I despise traffic but I sit in an air conditioned box playing music. It is becoming proficient at finding things to be in a great mood about, and if I zoom out, my days provide some.
Now, how successful have I been at finding those things? Mediocre at best. Humans have a negativity basis, but I tell myself, if you can be in a bad mood for no reason, then you can be in a good mood for no reason, because one at least serves you. What if I could just be in a good mood? What if I could just find the small things to be happy about?
Life belongs to the positive, those who can be in a good mood for no reason. It’s a skill we can all learn, myself included.
Appreciate you being here.
-Scantron
Bias right?